Bridesmaids Revisited

I’ve been a bit stuck lately and being stuck means I haven’t felt like blogging. Today I decided to unstick the stickiness and say ‘hello’ to all of you who are reading this; some of you have asked me where I’ve been and I thank you for that.

I’ve actually done some very lovely things over the last couple of months.  I’ve spent much-needed time with Team Ashurst (aka Paul, Megan and Jack), had catch-ups with wonderful friends whose company makes me smile and I’ve also attended the 40th, 50th and 60th birthday celebrations of some very dear friends, who all come from different areas of my life, but who each bring love and laughter into it. Thank you lovely ladies for each being lovely you.

And, in amongst the parties and celebrations of others, the last few months have also seen me attending a party of my own.  This kind of party doesn’t need an invite; you  simply turn up and attend whenever you want. A pity party is what I’m referring to: unique in nature and without limits.  In fact, you can go to one every day of the week if you feel like it. Let’s PARTY!!!!!

However, there’s one major drawback to pity parties: we often over stay our welcome.  Cue, very good friends and family, who are close enough to us to say, “Come on, it’s time to go”.

Now here’s the interesting thing about pity parties. Whilst doing a spot of research about these kinds of parties, (yes, this type of research does exist!) I’ve discovered that it’s actually ok to attend them. Indeed sometimes, they’re essential because they allow us time and space to lick our wounds and reflect on what’s brought us to the party in the first place. Pain, hurt and sadness can all be triggers for attendance but whatever our reasons for attending, it’s acknowledging those feelings that’s important; looking at them and saying: I know you’re there but what’s the best way for me to move forward and become unstuck?

Following a difficult time, parties of this kind can be therapeutic however the secret is not to stay very long; show your face, have a few nibbles and only stay for one drink before the tracks with titles like Woe is Me and Why Me? start to be played.

It’s a fact of life that it sometimes throws us lemons and in varying sizes: some are so small they don’t even qualify as lemons and others are big like the Ponderosa type, leaving dents in our lives, holes even, that take a whole lot of filling and patching up. Awful things happen to lovely people and awful things happen to awful people; lemons don’t discriminate; they’re random. I’ve found it helpful to remember this. Stay at a pity party too long and it’s easy to lose sight of this fact.

I watched Bridesmaids again last week and the scene below inspired me to write this blog post today. Apart from being very funny, there’s some great messages within the film including how sometimes, we focus so much on the bad things that have happened, that we can’t see the good stuff right in front of us. One thing’s for sure, watching it again has got me out of my stickiness and back to blogging.

This Wednesday, I’m attending an event in London hosted by Breast Cancer Care. It’s for people who have been diagnosed with breast cancer and who blog or are interested in blogging and want to learn more. I’m never going to say that cancer came in to my life for a reason because that would be silly and I’m not in to that kind of talk but what I will say, is that I’ve met people as a result of my diagnosis that otherwise I wouldn’t have met. The wonderful team at Breast Cancer Care are some of those people. Here’s to them and becoming unstuck.

Published by Laura Ashurst

I'm a wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunty, cousin, niece and friend. My husband and two children are my anchor and, in the background, which is where we like to place it, is secondary breast cancer. I've had cancer in my life for 17 years but I'm living, hoping and enjoying life. My Dad always used to say, 'take the rough with the smooth and live your life'.'s to my life, its challenges and milestones and love and laughter along the way.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: